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Paramatma is the Real Doer
There is a wonderful pastime from the life of Lord Shri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, which shows how a great scholar got the realization that he is not the real doer; the actual doer is the Paramatma.
According to the revealed scriptures Lord Chaitanya Mahaprabhu is confirmed to be the yuga-avatar of Lord Sri Krishna in the present age, Kali yuga. In His boyhood days, Chaitanya Mahaprabhu being a great scholar of Sanskrit grammar and logic, was addressed as Nimai Pandit.
Once when Nimai Pandit was living in Navadvipa, a world-renowned scholar Keshava Kashmiri came there. Keshava Kashmiri had already defeated many, many great scholars from various parts of the world in debate. Whenever he would defeat a scholar, he would get it written from the defeated scholar,'! have been defeated by Keshava Kashmiri in debate." He would travel from place to place for debating with scholars and wherever he would go, terror would strike the hearts of even the greatest pandits of that place. When he arrived in Navadvipa, the pandits of Navadvipa were afraid of engaging in debate with him lest they lose their prestige. So they thought that sixteen year old Nimai pandit would be best person to face him. Keshava Kashmiri met Nimai Pandit on the banks of the Ganges. When challenged by Keshava Kashmiri, Nimai Pandit requested him to compose a Sanskrit verse glorifying mother Ganges. Keshava Kashmiri immediately composed one hundred wonderful verses impromptu, reciting them like a storm and thus showing the strength of his vast learning. All the onlookers were struck with wonder, "How can a human being have such scholarship?"
After Keshava Kashmiri finished reciting the verses, he asked Nimai Pandit, "What is your opinion?" Just by once hearing the verses, Nimai Pandit had memorized all of them. He replied, ¦'Sir, can you refer to the 64th verse?" Keshava Kashmiri himself did not remember the verse. Nimai Pandit remarked that there were 4 strong points and 4 weak points in that verse. He then stated the 4 strong points. Keshava Kashmiri became offended to hear that there were any weak points in the verse. Nimai Pandit pointed out certain rhetorical and literary irregularities in composing the verses. He particularly questioned the use of the word bhavani-bhartuh. He pointed out that the use of this word was redundant. Bhavani means the wife of Shiva and bhartuh means 'husband'. Therefore when the word 'bhavani-bhartuh' is used, it is like saying 'husband of wife of Shiva', which seems to imply that Bhavani is an unchaste wife.
Keshava Kashmiri was struck with wonder to see a mere sixteen-year-old student of grammar so brilliantly point out the literary mistakes of an erudite scholar. He tried to think of some way to defend himself, but nothing would come in his mind. Although he had vast knowledge, he could not think of anything. He was thus humiliated and devastated in front of several friends of Nimai Pandit who had assembled there. Can you imagine his humiliation? The greater the ego of a person, the greater is the pain for him when he is humiliated. And Keshava Kashmiri had such a big false ego, and he had been totally defeated. He ran back to the place where he was staying and started weeping and praying to Sarasvati, "Mother! Why have you done this to me?" That night, mother Sarasvati appeared in a dream to him a|id said, "Do not lament. The person who has defeated you is n°ne other than my worshippable Supreme Lord. So don't envy Him; instead go and surrender to Him." When Keshava Kashmiri woke up, he came to his senses. He immediately went to Nimai Pandit and offered him prostrated obeisances. Keshava Kashmiri said. "It has been revealed to me that you are the Supreme Lord." Nimai Pandit said, "No one knows about this truth other than you. So please don't reveal it to anyone." Keshava Kashmiri went on to become a great devotee.
Through this pastime, we should understand that, however great we may be, if Krishna decides not to speak through us, if the Paramatma decides to take away our intelligence we will become completely helpless and incapable of speaking. We should therefore understand that we are completely at the mercy of the Lord at every moment. Unless He gives us guidance and inspiration, there is no question of our being able to do anything in our life on our own. Let us therefore become conscious of the presence of the Paramatma in our heart and pray to Him to make us more and more Krishna conscious and more and more surrendered.