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Pearls Like Tears of Gauranga
By Swami Gaurangapada
Today while chanting Gauranga's Holy Name, I could behold the most enchanting form of the Supreme Lord Gauranga Mahaprabhu in my heart. He was experiencing the highest symptoms of blissful ecstasy with goose bumps all over His divine body. I felt that the pearl-like tears dropping from His lotus eyes were falling upon my heart and washing it of all the impurities of material enjoyment. Just like the rain-drops are seen to wash the front mirror of the car, I could feel most blissfully behold the pearl-like tear drops of Lord Gauranga falling on my heart and making my vision of His Lotus Face more and more clearer. Sometimes I saw that Lord Gauranga was uttering some words of bliss in His divine remembrance of the conjugal sports of Shri Shri Radha Krishna. Then I saw Shrimati Radha and Lord Krishna within Lord Gauranga's tear drops with all the sakhis, manjaries and assistants in a grove in Shri Vrindavana Dhama. What a beautiful rapturous scene! I looked to the bright effulgent and gloosy toe-nails of Lord Gauranga and again I saw the beautiful pastimes of Shri Shri Radha Krishna in Shri Vrindavana within the toe-nails of Lord Gauranga just like a divine movie. I suddenly recited the verse 88 of Shri Chaitanya Chandramrita buy Shrila Prabodhananda Sarasvati Thakura... "yatha yatha gaura padaravinde.." â??As much as an elevated person with unlimited pious deeds attains a devotional relationship to the Holy Name and Lotus Feet of Lord Gauranga Mahaprabhu, to that extent and proportion the supreme ocean of nectar from the Holy Name and Lotus Feet of Shrimati Radharani spontaneously and effortlessly floods his or her heart.
I repeatedly fall down at the lotus feet of the Holy Name of Gauranga for giving me a glimpse of this realization about this confidential verse. I feel so attached to the Holy Name of Gauranga and I will not give it up even while sleeping. I am on a fruit and milk prasadam diet which is so conducive to the flow of these meditation realizations while chanting.While chanting today I felt that I am a big fool because I open my mouth to do something else other than chanting the Holy Name of Gauranga. Now I understand a little bit why Shrila Akinchana Krishnadasa Babaji Maharaja, Shrila Prabhupada's godbrother used to just chant 24 hours and keep on chanting even in reply to any questions asked to him by other devotees. It was because he simply could not give up chanting the Holy Name even for a second. While chanting when I tried to do something else or speak something else, I felt it as the greatest loss to me to give up the unalloyed nectar of the Holy Names even for a second. I beg at the lotus feet of Gauranga Nama Prabhu to always keep me in this consciousness.While taking rest also, I could not give up chanting. I kept the beads to the side but my tongue would not stop. Because when the tongue was vibrating, the Holy Form of Gauranga would appear within the heart so why would the tongue stop? Obviously the tongue is much more greedy for the honey-like nectar of the Holy Name of Gauranga. I am pleasantly astonished how exquisitely the Name and Form of Lord Gauranga blend with each other while chanting. May this combination always appear in my heart!I could see red lips of Lord Gauranga expanding into a very fragrant and enchanting smile as I was chanting while falling asleep. May I very soon reach the stage where I can chant while asleep! khaite suite yatha nama laya... Lord Gauranga says that this is perfection. Because it is not possible unless you have deep attachment and realization for the Holy Names. More chanting nectar later as I relish more chanting...... I just can't keep on writing about the chanting without relishing the chanting itself. Nityananda! Gauranga! Hare Krishna!