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A Few Glimpses of the Lotus Feet of Shrila Prabhupada
By Shrila Bhakti Promode Puri Goswami Maharaja
Shrila Bhakti Promode Puri Goswami Maharaja served as Shrila
Saraswati Thakur’s personal secretary and editor of the Gaudiya Math
publications fro more than ten years. Travelling with him extensively etc.
Once, Shrila
Prabhupada was viewing the Deities of Shri-Shri
Guru-Gauranga-Gandharvika-Giridhari at the Shri Chaitanya Math, standing on the
front porch of the temple. The door of
that temple is not very wide, and Shrila Prabhupada did not have his glasses
on. Standing next to him was one of his
dear disciples. The disciple thought
perhaps Prabhupada could not view the Deities very well through the narrow
doorway. He suddenly said, “Prabhupada,
this doorway is not very wide. So it is
not possible to view the Deities very well from outside.”
Hearing this, Prabhupada smiled, and he said for the
benefit of all of us, “We should not think of the Supreme Lord as an object of
our vision. Instead we should meditate
on the thought of how we can acquire some qualifications so we can become
worthy objects of His vision. We should
think about whether He wants to see us, and whether He will want to reveal
Himself to us.
atah shri-krishna-namadi
na bhaved grahyam-indriyaih
sevonmukhe-hi jihvadau
svayam-eva sphuratyadah
Bhakti-rasamrita-sindhu, Eastern Wave, 2.109
“The holy name, form, qualities, and pastimes of Shri Krishna are
divine and transcendental. They cannot
be experienced by material senses. The
Lord manifests Himself spontaneously on the tongue of a devotee who is eager to
serve Him.” Just as a devotee waits to
see the Lord with great patience and eagerness, sometimes the Lord also waits
with great patience and eagerness to see His devotee. It is described in the Chaitanya-caritamrita,
how the hidden Deity of Gopala in Vrindavana was waiting for His beloved
devotee, Shri Madhavendra Puri.
bahu-dina tomara patha kari nirikshana
kabe asi’ madhava ama karibe sevana
Shri-Chaitanya-caritamrita Madhya-lila 4.39
“For many days I have been watching the road for you, and I have
been wondering, ‘When will Madhavendra Puri come here to serve Me?’” In this way the Supreme Lord, who succumbs to
His devotee’s love, waits to see His devotee with great eagerness.
bhaktera dravya prabhu ‘kadi’ ‘kadi’ khaya
abhaktera dravya prabhu ‘ulati’ na caya
“The Lord will grab food from His devotee, but He will not even
glance at anything given by a non-devotee.”
This is why the eagerness to serve Him in loving devotion has to be
there.
bhaktir evainam nayati,
bhaktir evainam darshayati,
bhakti-vashah purushah bhaktir eva bhuyasi
“It is devotion which takes us to Him; it is devotion which will
reveal Him to us. He can only be
conquered by devotion. Therefore in all
scriptures, devotion is praised.” When
this devotion is mixed with spontaneous love, one quickly acquires the
qualifications to be worthy of the Lord’s vision. It is said in the Brahma-samhita,
prema jana-cchurita-bhakti-vilocanena
santah sadaiva hridayeshu vilokayanti
yam shyamasundaram acintya-guna-svarupam
govindam adi-purusham tam aham bhajami
Brahma-samhita 5.38
“I worship Govinda, the primeval Lord, Who is Shyamasundara,
Krishna Himself with inconceivable innumerable Attributes, Whom the pure
devotees see in their heart of hearts with the eye of devotion tinged with the
salve of love.”
Another day, we
were going from Shri Chaitanya Math to Shri Yogapitha, following Shrila
Prabhupada. At one point along the way,
that same beloved disciple smelled something bad on the road and covered his
nose with the end of his dhoti. Seeing
this, Shrila Prabhupada smiled and said, “The transcendental fragrance of the
holy dhama is not reaching your nose.
Instead, you are smelling the bad odor of the material world. The holy abode of the Lord is always
transcendental, and one should not see it with material consciousness. The Lord’s holy abode is non-different from
the Lord Himself.”
He has taught us,
by his personal example, the high ideal of serving Shridhama Mayapur, the
birthplace of Lord Gauranga. At
different places in Shridhama Mayapur at Shri Yogapitha, Shrivasa Angana, etc.
Shrila Prabhupada had many transcendental realizations and experiences. With his supramundane vision, he always saw
the three holy rivers Ganga, Yamuna, and Saraswati flowing together through
Shridhama Mayapur. He viewed the river
Jalangi as non-different from the holy river Saraswati. Shrila
Thakura Bhaktivinoda had the same kind of vision. In his famous poem, the fourteenth song of
Bhajana Lalasa (“kabe gaura-vane suradhuni-tate”), he begins by saying, “When
will I give up material happiness and wander around the places of Lord
Gauranga’s pastimes?” In the second
verse, he says, “I will drink the water of the river Saraswati.” This Shridhama Mayapur, the great place of
pilgrimage, which is situated by the meeting place of the three holy rivers,
was more dear to Shrila Prabhupada than we can imagine. Shrila Bhaktivinoda Thakura had predicted that a wonderful temple
would be manifest at Shri Yogapitha.
Shrila Prabhupada fulfilled this prediction by building a wonderful
temple there, assisted by one of his wealthy disciples, Shripada Shakhi-carana
Bhakti Vijaya Prabhu. A four-handed
Deity of Vishnu manifested Himself from the earth as the foundation of this
temple was being dug (June 13th, 1934, 10 AM).
Following the conclusions of the revealed scriptures, Shrila Prabhupada
called this Deity “Adhokshaja” containing the potencies of Shri, Bhu, and
Nila. Some famous archaeologists, headed
by Shri Rama-prasad Canda, determined the Deity to be very ancient. Shrila Prabhupada used to say that He was the
household Deity worshiped by Shri Jagannatha Mishra. This very beautiful Deity is still being
worshiped at Shri Yogapitha.
To perform his
service to Shridhama Mayapur with great care and pomp, Shrila Prabhupada brought
many famous persons to Shridhama Mayapur.
One of them was the king of the independent state of Tripura, and
another was the governor of Bengal, Sir John Anderson. Every year, Shrila Prabhupada took great care
to celebrate the birth anniversary of Shri Gauranga at Shridhama Mayapur, and
personally guided the 32-mile circumambulation of Shri Navadwipa Dhama. Shrila Prabhupada considered Shri
Candrashekhara Bhavana, which was north of Yogapitha, and Hulora Ghat, or the
meeting place of the three rivers, which was south of Yogapitha, to be greater
Mayapur. From his lotus mouth came the
prediction that one day there would be many Vaishnava villages and
neighborhoods on this strip of land.
Many maths and temples would be established there, and tumultuous congregational
chanting would be heard, accompanied by the sounds of conchshells, bells,
cymbals, and mridangas. Shrila
Prabhupada used to say that Shri Gaurasundara, the golden moon of Shri Mayapur,
is eternally performing His pastime of congregational chanting with His eternal
associates in His eternal abode, Shri Mayapur Dhama.
Even today, the
Supreme Lord, Gaurahari, is dancing and singing, wandering around Shri Mayapur
with His beloved associates.
Occasionally, some fortunate souls have heard a sudden sound of
tumultuous sankirtana at Shrivasa Angana or Yogapitha, when apparently no one
was there. Shrila Prabhupada himself
experienced this. We have seen with our
own eyes some individuals who were not
very spiritually inclined, whose hearts were hardened by their own faulty
arguments and who were proud of their material education, become enchanted upon
arrival at Shri Mayapur by the overwhelming spiritual ambience of the holy
Dhama. It seemed that their hearts could
not resist the sweet attraction of the holy Dhama, which stopped their argument
and caused them to lower their haughty heads in humility.
Next to the tall
temple of Shri Yogapitha is a big jackfruit tree. The ripe jackfruit of this tree was very
sweet and juicy. We had the good fortune
of tasting those ripe jackfruit. Our
grand-Gurudeva, Shrila Gaura-kishora Dasa Babaji, used to come and chant the
holy name, sitting under that jackfruit tree.
In those days Shrila Prabhupada used to live at the Sevaka-khanda of
Shri Yogapitha (which does not exist any more).
One day Shrila Prabhupada was surprised to see Shrila Gaura-kishora Dasa
Babaji sitting under that jackfruit tree very late at night. At that time, Shrila Gaura-kishora Dasa
Babaji used to live on the Navadwipa bank of the Ganga, at Ranira Cada, under a
cha-i (a portable bamboo and straw covering on a boat), and practiced his
bhajana there. Shrila Prabhupada asked
him how it was possible for him to cross the Ganga so late at night. In those days the ferry service used to be
closed at ten o’clock at night. This was
also the time when Shrila Gaura-kishora Dasa Babaji was performing his lila of
having poor sight. The road to Mayapur
was very arduous. So who had brought him
here so late at night? When Shrila
Prabhupada asked this question, Shrila Gaura-kishora Dasa Babaji answered,
“‘Someone’ helped me cross the river.
‘Someone’ brought me here, holding my hand, etc.” Shrila Prabhupada had no difficulty understanding
that this “Someone” was not an ordinary “someone”. Shrila Gaura-kishora Dasa Babaji often used
to come to Shri Mayapur and roll on the ground of Shri Yogapitha and the
courtyard of Shrivasa Thakura in loving ecstasy, and used to cry very
earnestly, taking the names of Shri Gaura, Shri Nityananda, Shri Advaita, Shri Gadadhara,
and the devotees headed by Shri Shrivasa.
When Shrila Prabhupada used to send him some fruit or vegetable grown in
Shri Mayapur, Shrila Gaura-kishora Dasa Babaji would take that with great
adoration, touch it to his head and chest, and in due time would offer it to
Shri Nityananda and partake of the remnant.
Shrila Prabhupada’s
loving devotion for the lotus feet of his Gurudeva is beyond our
comprehension. At one time he told us,
“When I used to think that I was a big scholar of mathematics and philosophy,
by my good fortune I got the darshana of the lotus feet of Shri Gurudeva. He ignored everything that was previously
appreciated in me—my truthfulness, my moral and pious life, and my
scholarship—knowing them to be of little value.
When he ignored whatever was good in me, I realized how good he himself
was, he who could ignore so many ‘good qualities’ in me; what inconceivable
wealth there was in him. Being ignored
by him, I realized that there was no one more fallen than me, more contemptible
than me, and that this was my real identity.
This great soul did not consider the things which I considered to be
highly desirable, such as scholarship and pure moral character, to have any
value. Then I realized that this great
personality possessed priceless wealth within him. So I prayed humbly and sincerely to the
Supreme Lord for His mercy. Later, by
the mercy of the Supreme Lord, I realized that without receiving the mercy of
this great saint and serving him, nothing good could happen to me. When I realized that and acted accordingly,
by getting the shelter of the lotus feet of Shri Gurudeva and by receiving his
unlimited causeless mercy I considered my life fulfilled. I have understood that if the people of the
world do not receive the same jolt that I received from my Gurudeva then their
consciousness will not awaken. Therefore
I am telling everyone, ‘I am more stupid than anyone else in the world; please,
all of you, do not be stupid like me. Do
not live your life within the limitation of a calculating consciousness. Please enter the realm of the unlimited, the
realm of Vaikuntha and you will become very wealthy. I am only asking you to accept that which I
have understood, by the causeless mercy of the Supreme Lord, to be supremely
beneficial.’”
In another place,
he wrote, “Even after seeing Shrila Gaura-kishora Dasa Babaji, many people—the
immature and the clever, the scholarly and the foolish, those lacking devotion
and those proud of their devotion—did not have the proper transcendental vision
to see him. This is the incomprehensible
power of a pure devotee. Hundreds of
people came to him for his instruction, to fulfill their material desires. But that instruction was actually deceiving
them. Many people take the garb of
sadhus, and many people outwardly act like sadhus, but in reality, not only are
they not sadhus but they are very far from any sadhu. But there was no such impurity in my
lord. By his own example he demonstrated
that purity was truth. His genuine
affection was incomparable to anything in this world. One who received that affection would
consider the eight kinds of yogic perfection to be of no value. He had no dislike for his competitors or his
enemies. Even to those who received his
mercy, he did not demonstrate any external favor. He used to say, ‘In this world there is no
one who is the object of my liking or disliking. I consider everyone to be respectable.’ Another inconceivable thing was that some
deceitful, materialistic people, whose mood was unfavorable to pure devotion,
always used to surround my Gurudeva without understanding his real position,
and, considering themselves objects of his affection, kept their attachment to
petty things. But he did not outwardly
make any effort to get rid of them, nor did he accept them in any way.”
In 1898, Shrila
Prabhupada had his first darshana of Shrila Gaura-kishora Dasa Babaji at
Svananda-sukhada-kunja in Godrumadwipa (one of the nine islands of
Navadwipa). Immediately Shrila
Prabhupada became captivated and overwhelmed with loving ecstasy when he heard
Shrila Gaura-kishora Dasa Babaji singing a song he himself had composed with
intense feelings of love. Shrila
Prabhupada later wrote that song down and thus made it available to all the
other devotees. This song was addressed
to Shrimati Radharani and dedicated to Shrila Raghunatha Dasa Goswami.
Later we have seen
Shrila Prabhupada displaying the same symptoms of deep loving ecstasy and
intense separation in the mood of Shrimati Radharani. As described in Shri Chaitanya-caritamrita,
during the chariot festival of Shri Jagannatha, Shriman Mahaprabhu was
overwhelmed with intense feelings of separation. This mood of Shrimati Radharani, as displayed
by Mahaprabhu, and His inner thoughts and feelings, were described very
beautifully and eloquently by Shrila Kaviraja Goswami, beginning with the
famous verse anyera hridaya mana, mora mana vrindavana.
My Mind is Vrindavan
Speaking in the
mood of Shrimati Radharani, Shri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu said, “For most people,
the mind and heart are one, but because My mind is never separated from
Vrindavana, I consider My mind and Vrindavana to be one. My mind is already Vrindavana, and since
Vrindavana is most dear to You, will You please place Your lotus feet
there? I would deem that Your full
mercy. My dear Lord, kindly hear My true
submission. My home is Vrindavana, and I
hanker for Your association there. But
if I do not get it, it will be very difficult for Me to keep on living. My dear Krishna, formerly, when You were
staying in Mathura, You sent Uddhava to teach Me knowledge and mystic
yoga. Now You Yourself are speaking the
same thing, but My mind doesn’t accept it.
There is no place in My mind for this.
Since You are very knowledgeable and merciful and You know My heart, You
should not speak to Me this way. I would
like to withdraw My consciousness from You and engage it in material
activities, but even though I try, I cannot do so. I am naturally inclined to You only. Your instructions for Me to meditate on You
are therefore simply ludicrous. It is
not very nice of You to think of Me as a candidate for Your instructions. The gopis are not like the mystic yogis. They will never be satisfied simply
meditating on Your lotus feet. Outwardly
Your words sound quite nice but within them are deceit and duplicity. This makes the gopis more angry with
You. Since the gopis are not even aware
of their bodies, they are not materially conditioned. Therefore they are not aspiring for
liberation. The gopis are fallen in the
great ocean of separation, and they are being devoured by the timingila fish,
which represent their intense desire to be united with You. So My Lord, please rescue the gopis from this
great ocean of separation.” (Shri
Chaitanya-caritamrita, Madhya-lila, 13.137–142)
Being immersed in
this mood of separation, Shrila Prabhupada established the Gaudiya Math in
Jagannatha Dhama, participated in the chariot festival, and inaugurated the
Bhagavata exhibit. Whenever the topic of
Shrimati Radharani’s seeing Krishna at Kurukshetra, which is non-different from
Jagannatha Dhama, came up, he became overpowered with deep feelings of
separation and love. Tears would flow
from his eyes and his voice would choke up with emotion. By seeing Shri Jagannatha in Nilacala, Shrila
Prabhupada would be immersed in this mood and he would chant the following
verse by Shrila Rupa Goswami, in the mood of Shrimati Radharani:
priyah so ‘yam krishnah
sahacari kurukshetra-militas
tathaham sa radha tad idam ubhayoh sangama-sukham
tathapy antah-khelan
madhura-murali-pa cama-jushe
mano me kalindi-pulina-vipinya sprihayati
Shri Chaitanya-caritamrita, Madhya-lila 1.76
“O My friend, today I was united with My beloved Krishna in
Kurukshetra. He is the same Krishna and
I am the same Radha, and the joyful ecstasy of Our union is the same. Yet My heart is hankering for that forest on
the bank of the Yamuna which used to be flooded with joy by the reverberations
of Krishna’s playful flute.”
Shrimati Radharani
and Her own Shri Radha Kunda were Shrila Prabhupada’s life and soul. He used to become overwhelmed with loving
sentiments whenever he described the glories of Shrimati Radharani and Her
merciful nature. The collection of
verses called Radha-rasa-sudhanidhi, by Shrila Prabodhananda Saraswati, was
very dear to Shrila Prabhupada. I still
remember how Shrila Prabhupada’s voice would choke in loving ecstasy and his
eyes would become tearful as he was reciting verses from that holy book. (“I offer my obeisances in the direction of
the breeze coming from the stirring of the garment of the daughter of King
Vrishabhanu. That breeze makes
Madhusudana feel very satisfied.”)
Equally dear to him was Vilapa-kusumanjali, by Shrila Raghunatha Dasa
Goswami. He interpreted for us with deep
feelings of love many such scriptures and verses glorifying Shrimati
Radharani. His extreme attachment for
the lotus feet of Shrimati Radharani is expressed in his own name
Varshabhanavi-Dayita Dasa (“servant of the Beloved of Shrimati Radharani,
Krishna”). (“O Radharani, why should I
keep this life if You are not merciful to me?
What need is there for me to reside in Vraja? O lotus-eyed One, without Your mercy, I do
not want Krishna, the killer of demons.”—Vilapa-kusumanjali)
Every year, many
devotees, following in Shrila Prabhupada’s footsteps, would go to Mathura Dhama
to observe Karttika-vrata. Shrila
Prabhupada used to celebrate Karttika-vrata with great earnestness and
austerity, and he used to spend his time in the holy Dhama absorbed in deep
meditation in a mood of separation. The
memories of those times we spent with him observing Karttika-vrata are still
inspiring us to go on with our spiritual lives.
I remember in 1932 Shrila Prabhupada circumambulated the entire
perimeter of the holy Dhama of Vraja-mandala on foot in the association of
many, many devotees, starting his journey on the 9th of October, the appearance
day of Shri Madhvacarya. At every place
of Krishna’s pastimes, he himself described those pastimes. At the same time, for the benefit of devotees
who came from many different regions, he saw to it that lectures were given in
various languages. At the meeting-place of Shri Radha Kunda and Shri Shyama
Kunda, in a big assembly of devotees, including many Vraja-vasis (residents of
Vraja Dhama) and many scholars, Shrila Prabhupada gave his interpretation of
Shrila Rupa Goswami’s Nectar of Instruction in Hindi. I also remember a photograph of Prabhupada
giving a lecture at the bank of Shri Radha-Lalita Kunda which was published in
the contemporary weekly devotional magazine Gaudiya. So many tents were set up there that it
looked like a little town. What a
beautiful sight it was!
On the 29th of
October, 1934, Shrila Prabhupada discovered the place of pilgrimage where Shrila
Rupa Goswami saw Shri Gopala in the village of Sati-gara in Mathura. We were fortunate to be with him in 1935, when Shrila Prabhupada observed Shri
Damodara-vrata on the bank of his beloved Shri Radha Kunda, starting from the
8th of October. Every day he gave
lectures on Shrimad-Bhagavatam, Shri Chaitanya-caritamrita, Upanishads, and
other holy scriptures. Every day he
would circumambulate Shri Radha Kunda and would hear or talk about the eight
daily pastimes (ashta-kaliya lila). At
this time, to properly serve Shri Vraja-mandala, he started a regular meeting
for the sake of preaching the glories of Shri Vraja-Dhama (Shri Vraja-Dhama
Pracarini Sabha).
How much he loved
talking about Krishna is inconceivable.
He would talk about Him for hours on end, and if anyone asked or even
gestured for Shrila Prabhupada’s prasada to be brought in, he would be
displeased. There were times when, being
so instructed by experienced doctors, his disciples requested him not to talk
very much. If anyone would ask him how
he was, Shrila Prabhupada would answer, “I am fine. My only disease is that I am not allowed to
talk about Krishna.” He used to say, “To
wake up a single sleeping soul, to make a single conditioned soul aware of his
real identity, one should be willing to dedicate one’s whole life.”
Shrila Prabhupada
used to love to listen to kirtana. But
he could not stand to hear kirtana which was sung by an unqualified person,
which was against bona fide Vaishnava conclusions, or which reflected a mixture
of clashing sentiments. That is why he
has said, in a song he composed,
prana ache tara, se hetu pracara,
pratishthasha-hina krishna gatha saba
shri-dayita-dasa, kirttanete asha,
kara uccaihsvare harinama raba
“Kirtana lives only when it is sung by a devotee who is free of
the desire for name and fame. Such
kirtana, full of life, is capable of preaching the holy name, since it consists
of the glories of Krishna without being contaminated by personal ambition. ‘Shri Dayita Dasa’ (Shrila Prabhupada) is
always hoping to hear such kirtana. All
of you please loudly take the name of Lord Hari in that pure mood.” The path of exclusive surrender, without a
desire for one’s own name and fame, is the life and soul of a devotee. The kirtana which comes out of the mouth of
anyone who is not following this path of exclusive surrender is completely
lifeless and not fit to be heard. Shrila
Prabhupada could not tolerate any kind of imitation. Nor could he tolerate anyone overstepping the
boundary of their rightful position, which had been earned by their devotional
practice. He made it clear to us that
one should try to be simple, humble, offenseless, and honest in the path of
devotion, and there should not be a tinge of duplicity, deceit, hypocrisy, or
desire for name and fame. In one song he
said,
yadi bhajibe gora sarala kara nija mana
kutinati chadi’ bhaja gorara carana
gorara ami, gorara ami,
mukhe balile nahe cale
gorara acara, gorara vicara,
la-ile phala phale
“If you want to worship Lord Gauranga, make your heart simple and
straightforward. Worship the lotus feet
of Lord Gauranga, giving up deceit and duplicity. Merely saying ‘I belong to Gauranga, I belong
to Gauranga’ is giving Him lip service and has no effect. Following the example of His action and
sentiment will bear fruit.”
Shrila Prabhupada
was extremely affectionate to his disciples, and if he found out any one of
them was bewildered by maya he would shed tears. In confronting those who had a demoniac
mentality, he was deadly like a thunderbolt, but in his loving relationships
his heart was softer than a flower. If
in any of his maths, any of his servants had to face any difficulty due to lack
of money, Shrila Prabhupada used to take great care to send that money as soon
as he heard about it. He could not bear
the thought that a devotee had to undergo hardships due to lack of money. He used to become very concerned if he heard
of any devotee being ill. His affection
could not be compared with that of millions of fathers and mothers. If we were ever sad and miserable, as soon as
we sat near him, all sadness went away due to the shower of his unlimited
affection. Even his chastisement seemed
very sweet. “Shrila Prabhupada has
chastised me.”—we used to say that with great pride, and considered ourselves
to be really fortunate. All difficulties
in our service were made worthwhile a million times over when we could see the
signs of pleasure on his affectionate lotus face. What we felt can be expressed by this verse
of Shrila Bhaktivinoda Thakura in his
book Sharanagati:
tomara sevaya duhkha haya yata,
seo ta’ parama sukha
seva-sukha-duhkha parama sampada,
nasaye avidya-duhkha
Sharanagati 16.4
“The suffering that comes from Your service is also our supreme
happiness. Both the suffering and the
happiness that come from Your service are our greatest treasure, and they
destroy the miseries that come from ignorance.”
If we could not properly perform some service which had been ordered by
Shrila Gurudeva, that would cause us great sadness. Our service to Shrila Gurudeva seemed to
consist of everything: devotion,
worship, meditation, realization, austerity, and sacrifice. He was most dear to Krishna. Therefore if we could somehow bring him some
satisfaction, we considered that as the highest fulfillment of our devotional
practice.
If Shrila
Prabhupada went away from us for a few days, our hearts used to ache in
separation, and we used to think day and night, “When will he come back
again?” Alas, how many years have passed
since he left this planet! How am I
spending my days in this long separation from him? Why is my soul still living here? For the sake of what kind of happiness? Perhaps due to my offenses to the holy name
and at the lotus feet of Shrila Prabhupada my heart has become hard like a
thunderbolt and it does not feel any pain any more. If I really loved him, how could I live this
worthless life here? O my merciful lord,
please protect this fallen servant of yours.
Even though I’m so fallen, so sinful, and so deviated from the path of
devotional service, please pick me up and put me at the shelter of your lotus
feet. Once you did give me shelter at
your lotus feet, considering me the servant of the servant of your
servants. We also got the assurance that
if necessary you would come here again and again to rescue fallen souls like
myself. O merciful Gurudeva, your heart
is so full of affection! Please forgive
all the offenses I have committed at your lotus feet, knowingly or unknowingly. The day before you left us, I clasped your
lotus feet on my chest, and you looked at me with eyes full of affection. Please remember that. I am stupid, ignorant, bereft of scriptural
knowledge; I do not know what is good or
bad for me. Please correct me and make
me worthy of your service. Please make
me understand what my faults are and what my offenses are, so I will have the
privilege of serving you. Shri Chaitanya
Mahaprabhu said to Murari Gupta,
sei bhakta dhanya,
ye na chade prabhura carana
sei prabhu dhanya, ye na chade nija-jana
durdaive sevaka yadi yaya anya sthane
sei thakura dhanya tare cule dhari’ ane
Shri Chaitanya-caritamrita, Antya-lila 4.46-47
“Glorious is that devotee who does not give up the shelter of the
Lord, and glorious is that Lord Who does not abandon His servant. If by chance a servant falls down and goes
somewhere else, glorious is that Master Who captures him and brings him back by
the hair.”
You gave me the
Tulasi beads so I could offenselessly take the holy name. But alas, I am still indifferent to
that. My worshippable Godbrothers, who
are all my well-wishers, have set such examples for me by their own actions,
but I was not inspired by that. I do not
have the desire to take the holy name, what to speak of having love for the
holy name. Have I been deprived of the
mercy of the holy name due to my offenses at your lotus feet and the lotus feet
of the Vaishnavas? O merciful
Prabhupada, please give me love for the holy name. Please inspire me. Let those lotus feet of yours, which I had
the good fortune of holding on my chest and which are more cooling than
millions of moons, be installed and be worshiped in my heart for all eternity. This is my only prayer to you.
Shri Rupa Manjari Pada
Just prior to the
withdrawal of his manifest lila, my causelessly merciful Divine Master, Shrila
Saraswati Thakur, handed me over to the holy feet of that Divine Personality by
having me sing the glorious prayer unto his lotus feet, Shri Rupa-manjari-pada.
Despite my lowliness, when will – disregarding all my various qualifications
and disqualifications – Shrimad Rupa Prabhu grace me with the dust of his holy
lotus feet?
Shri-rupa-manjari-pada,
sei mora sampada, sei mor bhajana-pujana — my everything is Shri Rupa Goswami’s
holy feet. We are to discuss so many classifications and positions of rasa:
santa, dasya, sakhya, vatsalya, madhura . And in madhura-rasa Radharani’s camp is special. Then again there
are so many gradations of sakhis. Then there is a class of the manjaris, the
younger girls, and they have more freedom to approach: when Radha and Govinda
are in union in a private environment, the manjaris can still approach. They have such freedom to
visit Them. If any materials of service are necessary, the sakhis send the manjaris to that place. The sakhis do not approach there. In that way the
manjaris enjoy the best confidence. The
most secret service of both can be supplied through the manjaris In the highest position they have free entrance,
and their leader is Rupa Manjari. She is understood to be the leader of the
whole group of younger girls, the manjaris , therefore in madhura-bhajan she is all-in-all. This has been taught to us
by Narottama Thakur. For us – and the younger batch – she is our highest
resort.
Sei mora
sampada – my wealth is there in her
feet. Sei mor bhajana-pujana – my
worship and service is also in her. Sei mora prana-dhana, sei mora abharana – the very wealth and gist of my life is
there; and the ornaments of my life, if any there may be, that is within her
grace. Sei mor jivanera jivana – indeed,
the very life of my life, if there is anything, that is also her. I am for her
pleasure.
Sei mora
rasa-nidhi – if there is anything, the
source of any and all desirable ecstasy is only to be found there. The mine,
source, and fountainhead of all rasa is
there in her feet. Sei mora vancha-siddhi
– and if I am to expect any other fulfillment in life, that is also
there in her feet. Sei mor vedera dharama
– if any duty is recommended by the Vedas for me, I would like that such
duty be at her feet.
Sei brata, sei
tapa – if at all there is any desired
accumulation from any penance or observance of vows, that is also to be found
there – sei mora mantra-japa – and the
continuous repetition of a mantra in
japa all ends there: all things have
only one end in my case, and that is that they all meet in different phases in
the feet of Rupa Manjari. If she is satisfied then the variegated nature of all
sorts of my devotional practices are satisfied. Sei mor dharama-karama – and any of my conceptions of duty or
activity of any phases of form all have one end and meet in one point: the holy
feet of Rupa Manjari.
Anukula habe
viddhi, se-pade hoibe siddhi – I only
pray to the controller who is at the root of all these arrangements of affairs
in this world, “Please connect me there. Oh Absolute Manager, may you grant my
prayer that all my tendencies may go to attain her favor. Nirakhibo e dui
nayane – and it will be so very intense
and concrete as if I can see it with these eyes. It will not be vague,
abstract, or imagination, but I want the most concrete realization by the grace
of the Absolute Manager.”
Se
rupa-madhuri-rasi, prana-kuvalaya-sasi—what sort of high class beauty is there
in her holy feet! I want to jump. Let my heart be a lotus.
There are two
classes of lotus: the white lotus came from the sun and the red from the moon.
The kuvalaya is a mixture of the two.
The luster of her body will feed me day and night as the life of my life which
is compared to a kuvalaya . The kuvalaya
is fed and nourished by the luster of the moon, and her holy feet are
the moon, and my very vitality is likened to the lotus. May the luster of her beauty
maintain and nourish my heart of hearts. Praphullita habe nisi-dine – and the lotus of my heart will grow by that
ray, and dance.
Tuya
adarsana-ahi – this is my prayer, but
what is my present condition? My present condition is in the negative side, my
Mistress. My present position is such that without having a sight of you, Your
Grace, my heart will burn into ashes. That is my present position. Garale
jaralo dehi – this is just like the
poison of a cobra which produces pain within my heart. I have been bitten by a
snake, and what is that snake? It is that I am not getting any direct contact
with you, Your Grace. The serpent’s poison has captured my heart and I am going
to die. Ciro-dina tapita jivana – and
this is not a sudden thing, but from the beginning I have been suffering this
sort of pain of separation from such a beautiful and hopeful life of
fulfillment.
Ha ha rupa koro
doya, deho more pada-chaya, narottama loilo sarana – but I have now reached the extreme position
and for the last time I am begging for your favor; otherwise I am going to be
finished.
This was composed
by Narottama Thakur in praise of Shrila Rupa Goswami. In this way he has given
us light of the higher quarter of bhajan
life. This sampradaya is named as
the Rupanuga-sampradaya, and our Guru-parampara and all these things are
adjusted according to that. And the Lotus Feet of Shri Rupa Manjari are the sum
and substance of the life and precepts of Shrila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati
Thakur.
—Bhakti Rakshaka Shridhar Goswami
Shri Rupa’s Line of Thought
Preach all over the
world the teachings of Shri Rupa and Shri Raghunath with all your might. Our
highest ambition in life is to turn
ourselves into the dust of their feet. Ever remain united in order
to satisfy the transcendental senses of the one Absolute consciousness
(Krishna) under the guidance of His eternally corelated aspect, His absolute
subservient self, Shri Gurudeva.
Somehow manage to
eke out your existence in this transitory world for the sole purpose of serving
Godhead. Never give it up even if
hundreds of dangers, insults and abuses come, nor be discouraged
if the majority of the people in this world do not accept your words to serve
Krishna sincerely. Renounce everything in life to serve Krishna, to sing about
Him and to listen to talks about Him. Sing ever His Name, being humble as grass
and patient like a tree.
I pray to offer
this useless body of mine in the sacrifice of united singing of Shri Krishna’s
Name. That is my only wish. We do not desire heroic success in great deeds, nor
wish to acquire immense piety in life.
Our very self
consists in the dust of the feet of Shri Rupa Goswami Prabhu, my master. He is
the be-all and end-all of our life. The spiritual line of Shri Bhakti Vinode
Thakur will never close. You shall with greater energy devote yourselves to
preach the desires of the soul. There are many men among you who are competent
to do that with ability. We have no other object in life. Our only words are:
Holding a blade of
grass with my teeth, I repeatedly pray,
may God make me the dust of the feet of Shri Rupa in my every birth here
below.
Let Shri Rupa’s
line of thought ever flow on earth. Let us never turn away from the united
singing of the seven-tongued Name of Shri Krishna. If we can wholeheartedly be
attached to it, with increasing aptitude, every desire of our soul must be
fulfilled. With unflinching complete submission deserving the whole-hearted
followers of Shri Rupa, let you all preach the word of Shri Rupa and Raghunath
with the greatest energy and without fear.
—Shri Siddhanta
Saraswati