Post Author: Swami Gaurangapada Date: 2006-01-13 16:27:19
Lord Nityananda is Calling By Nava Gauranga dasa
Nityananda! Gauranga! Hare Krishna! A couple of weeks ago after reading Swami Gaurangapada's Naam Realisations I found within, the ability, which is not constant, to see in my heart the beautiful form of Prabhu Nityananda. Each time I would chant in japa his Holy Name I would see His Form, and gradually I could see Him in my heart preaching on a street corner in Navadwipa with a crowd around Him.
I continued each session to watch Him and reflect on His flowing hair, blissful eyes and beautiful garments. He was sharing to others about Gauranga, in bliss. He looked like your Deity in the ashrama somewhat. As I watched him from a distance for several days I began to perceive that I was dressed in old cloth and somewhat unclean.
At some point I saw Him extend his arms toward me, and say ,"why do you always sit over there watching?" He knew I felt myself unworthy to approach the group he was talking to. As I was doing japa of his Name, and meditating, he gestured with his arms, He said, "please come with me there is a Kirtana close by I wish to show you." As He said this shivers rushed through my body and tears of overwhelming joy poured from my eyes.
For the next several days of my japa I could see an ecsatic kirtana in an open hall with pillars supporting the roof. I would stand outside each day, and I could see assembled devotees. Mahaprabhu was tall and strong and loudly he would chant the Name of Krishna in the form of the Mahamantra. He was unaware of His surroundings and absorbed in his loud calls. I perceived just by seeing Him that He was in trance. And nearby was Advaita Prabhu playing Mrdanga and dancing like He was leaping upward. His mood of Kirtana seemed to be like a proud lion in a victory call. His appearance was older but His vitality was like a young man.
For several days this would be my meditaiton with my souls eyes. Each day coming back to view this wonderful kirtana. It was the most pleasing japa really. Lately I have been looking at my Murtis and chanting with affection. What am I to make of this? It occured after I read your realisations. Did I experience some kind of shadow, or blessing? Is it ok to meditate like this when it occurs?