|NITAAI-Veda.nyf > NITAAI Forum Archives > Devotee Blogs > Neil Blog > Pranams to All|
Title: Pranams to All
User: Neil LA Date: 2007-07-20 02:11:23
Nityananda! Gauranga! Hare Krishna!
All Glories to Swami Gaurangapada!
All Glories to the Guru Parampara!
All Glories to the Vaishnavas!
I felt a need to check in on the blog and say Hi to Swami Gaurangapada and all my friends here.
As you can probably guess, I am still not actively chanting Nityananda, Gauranga and Hare Krishna right now.
I feel ok, because I haven't given up my spiritual path, I just realize that it takes different forms at different times in my life.
As Lord Gauranga says in the Sikshashtaka (and I'm sure I'm paraphrasing) "there are infinite names of God and there are no rules on how we can say them." so I'm trusting in God's mercy and I know that He will never abandon me.
Its really interesting. When I practice one spiritual path and say one particular name, I get a taste of the Lord in one way and when I practice another path and say another one of His names, I get another taste.
I really feel that even though other names of God in other traditions and cultures are just as valid and absolute as any other, it just feels that the Lord is showing me another aspect of his personality.
I will always consider myself a disciple of Swami Gaurangapada. I can never undo that. I am so thankful to him for presenting the pure Vaishnava teachings to the world in a spirit of pure love and non sectarianism. He is truely a very rare and precious personality. I always want to stay in touch and I want to reassure him that even though I might not be actively chanting Nityananda, Gauranga and Hare Krishna, Swami Gaurangapada is always within my heart and I am always thankful for all the gifts that he has given me and continues to give. I only wish I could somehow repay my debt to him. I know I can't and that makes me humble and beg for the shelter of his lotus feet, even though I am such an imperfect disciple.
Things in Los Angeles are going well for me. The last couple of weeks, I've been struggling with a bit of my depression, but recently, I've decided that I cause most of those troubles for myself. I spend so much time and effort telling myself how unhappy I am and how "If only..." this and that were different I would be different. But I've come to the realization (today at least) that I can choose to say "I'm happy." I know my life isn't perfect, but in this material world it can never be perfect and that's ok. I'm here now, so I can choose to accept things as they are and trust in God's love and mercy. I can allow myself to accept happiness in this material world. I know that it isn't permanent happiness and it isn't a perfect world. I can trust that permanent happiness and perfection is in Divine Navadvipa and I can trust that through the power of God's holy names, I might sometime get there...but I can also say, that while I'm here, I can make the best out of the situation. I'm not saying that I will give myself completely to materialism and forget spirituality...that is the beauty (and terror) of this material world...it can be spiritual as well as material. I choose today to surrender myself to the Holy Names - The divine Sankirtan that Lords Nityananda and Gauranga are eternally performing with their associates is ALWAYS happening and I can surrender to that and ask the Lord to make me a (very small) part of that.
Anyway...I'm sorry if I'm rambling on...I just very much wanted to stay in touch and tell you all about all the blessings that I recieve constantly.
Dandavat Pranams to the lotus feet of Sri Guru Swami Gaurangapada, the eternal Guru parampara, all the Holy Names and all the Holy and Devoted Vaishnavas
Your friend and servant -