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User: neilsf Date: 2006-10-18 12:23:21
Nityananda! Gauranga! Hare Krishna!
All Glories to Shrila Gurudeva Swami Gaurangapada!
All Glories to the Guru Parampara!
Well, I'm not sure if people are actually still posting and reading the blogs, but I figured this was the best place to post.
I've been chanting rather consistantly since July and have been happy to be involved with Gaudiya Vaishnavism as taught by Swami Gaurangapada.
Over the last couple of weeks, I have been having nostalgic feelings about my Christian practice that I was practicing earlier in the year. I don't know what it is...I guess that chanting is begining to feel boring to me and I feel like I'm just saying the words but not really "connecting" with God.
But I just feel like I'm stuck in a viscious cycle. I get involved with one religion, stick with it for a while, eventually get bored with it and then change to another.
I really wish I could just stay with one. But I somewhat feel that if I stay with one religion, I will be missing out from having something that the other religion has. I know if I change back to Christianity, in a few months, I'll be pining away for Gauranga Krishna Consciousness.
When I chant, I've been finding it difficult to stay focused. I try to listen to the chant and focus on the words and I also try to picture Lords Nityananda and Gauranga in my mind, but I find myself going back to my regular thoughts over and over again.
I wish I could just stay with Gauranga Krishna Consciousness, but also feel that I am really making progress. I guess that if I am able to chant every day and stick with it, I am making progress. I'm still planning to increase the number of rounds by 2 in January...we'll see. I hope I can stick with it.
Any suggestions that Gurudeva or anyone else could make would be very helpful
cakṣur unmīlitaḿ yena
tasmai śrī-gurave namaḥ
kṛpā-sindhubhya eva ca
vaiṣṇavebhyo namo namah
Your aspiring servant
Please go to the original blog entry here and contribute your valuable comments...: http://www.gaurangapada.org/blogs/viewblog.php?entry=125