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Guru Purnima Offerings
Dear Swami Gaurangapada, please accept my most humble obeisances.
All glories to you!
Nityananda! Gauranga! Hare Krishna!
I want to thank you, with straw in my mouth, falling down in the dust before you, for revealing this sublime, most confidentional secret of chanting Nityananda and Gauranga Mantrarajas and for so kindly engaging this fool in transcendental activities of translating and presenting unlimited glories of Nitai-Gaura Naam.
How many births I was wandering here and there, suffering in so many different forms of life. There was no real happiness, only bitter taste of illusion. But, Lord Nityananda, who is reservoir of all auspiciousness and good qualities, dispatched you in this material world out of His great compassion toward us condicioned souls – just to teach us unlimited glories of chanting Nityananda and Gauranga Mantrarajas. How merciful is this!
You are very dear to Lord Nityananda, and therefore you are always full of transcendental happiness and bliss, so please, please out of your compassion, please consider this urgent cry – here is one fool, rackal who is separated from devotional service, unhappy and most fallen person, who have only one hope, if you somehow or other become merciful toward me, then someday this lunatic will be able to cross over ocean of misery and eternally engage in loving devocional service and in constant chanting and hearing about Lord Nityananda and Lord Gauranga. There is no other way, no other solution!
You are most confidentional acarya, mahabhagavata, and chanting of Nityananda Naam is your very life and soul. I am praying just to be somewhere near, so that someday I would be able to catch only one drop of pure Nityananda Naam from your lips – then all perfection will come. Only one drop of your mercy can not be compared with anything in this material world – so I am dancing here and there, just to make you notice this fool, and somehow or other give me your unconditioned mercy.
Pure Naam is your treasure, your wealth. I am beggar and sinner, most poor of all. I do not posses qood qualities or anything that I could exchange wealth with you. Nothing to give. Krishna se tomara Krishna dite paro. Krishna is yours. Nityananda is yours. Gauranga is yours. They are your property because you are Their dear devotee. Tomara shakati ache. You have that power to give me Nityananda and Gauranga, but I am most unfortunate, and have no taste, no respect. Ami to kangala, and therefore I am just running after you, writing, posting, bloging and crying Nitai, Nitai, Gaura, Gaura, in great hope that you will be somehow or other satisfy.
Your association is most confidentional and most rarely obtain. Thank you for sometimes spending your valuable time and engaging me in this supreme mission of propagating Nityananda- Gauranga Naam. If person is able to make one click, to post one thread on this forum and site, that is result of billions of previous pious activities. On this most auspicious day I am trying to write with my hearth.
You surely remember I asked you few months ago – how will person know when he or she meet spiritual master. Now I know answer deeply written in deepest core of my hearth, and that verdict is stronger with every bit of my hearth. Lord Nityananda finally, out of His causeless mercy brought you in my life to help and deliver this fool number one. Tomara karuna sara. Your mercy is everything.
You see, there is really no other way for me. No hope. Ei dase karuna koro. Only if this soul gets your mercy there is some hope. Only then. And how I can do it? There is no way, no solution, no qualities. Only pale desire. Kichu nahi pai. Who is more fallen than this lost soul, so far away from your lotus feet, Puri dhama and Lord Nitai and Gaura? Cursed and doomed for my previous misbehavior I am suffering in separation and tears are floating from my eyes. Most unfortunate person I am. Please, out of your mercy help me and please give me opportunity to eternally serve you.
But there is great difficulty. I am fool and no good qualities are present in me. So how it is possible for me to even think of serving you like your disciples. I would only make aparadhas and go to hell. I do not know what is to be disciple. That requires discipline and full surrender. So I was meditating and decided to serve you from distant on every possible way that I can and that I consider to be perfection of my life. If any of my insignificant attempts will bring you some joy then I will be happy too, because I will know that Lord Nitaichandra was merciful toward me.
So, on this most auspicious day by lamenting upon my cursed situation I am simultaneously trying to thank you for unlimited inspiration and change that you brought in my life. I was never, never so much engaged in spiritual activities and topics, and that is only possible in association of such great acharya like you. You are in did touchstone, divine cintamani- greatest jewel of all Vaishnavas because you are spreading most glorious and sublime Nityananda and Gauranga Mantrarajas for ultimate benefit of all living entities in this world. Who will ever be able to understand your unique position and glories! That is impossible for ignorant offender like myself to evan touch one drop of that ocean.
With straw in my mouth I am falling before you, please be merciful toward this lost servant. If you neglect me then evan Lord Nityananda will not be able to help me, and my doom will be eternal. You are my only hope. With nothing to offer, today somehow or other I am remembering your unique glories and position and my hearth dance in ecstasy. My mind is dancing – Nityananda, Nityananda, Gauranga, Gauranga, singing and thanking that They gave me your association. That is most valuable thing.
Sorry if I made this post long. When river is floating who can subdue waves, when hearth is bleeding who can give right remedy? When talking about pure devotees like you, who can find adequate words?
So, please, on this most auspicious day, please consider this urgent call and be merciful toward this ignorant fool.diya pada-chaya, sodho he amaya. Please, be merciful. Otherwise there will be no hope for me.
Hoping to serve you life after life, Igor