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NITAAI-Veda.nyf > Compiled and Imp Scriptures > Vaishnava Song Book > Bengali Songs > Amara Jivana

 

 

Amara Jivana

Shrila Bhaktivinoda Thakura

 

amara jivana, sada pape rata,

nahika punyera lesha

parere udvega, diyachi je kata,

diyachi jivere klesha (1)

 

Throughout my whole life I have been addicted to sin, never performing any pious

activities. I have simply been a source of disturbance and suffering for others.

 

nija sukha lagií, pape nahi dari,

daya-hina svartha-para

para sukhe duhkhi, sada mithya-bhashi,

para-duhkha sukha kara (2)

 

For my own pleasure I never fear to commit any sin. I am devoid of pity and full of

selfishness; Iím sorry at othersí happiness and am an inveterate liar. Indeed, I take

delight in othersí miseries.

 

ashesha kamana, hridi majhe mora,

krodhi dambha-parayana

mada-matta sada, vishaye mohita,

himsa-garva vibhushana (3)

 

Endless are the selfish desires in my heart. I am prone to anger and devoted to

arrogance. Intoxicated by conceit and deluded by attraction to sense pleasure, I

ornament myself with pride and envy.

 

nidralasya-hata, sukarye virata,

akarye udyogi ami

pratishtha lagiya, shathya-acarana,

lobha-hata sada kami (4)

 

Afflicted by laziness and sleep, adverse to pious activities, I delight to perform any

harmful act to obtain name and fame. I am very adept in duplicity, always lusty and

degraded by mundane greed.

 

e hena durjana, sajjana-varjita,

aparadhi nirantara

shubha-karya-shunya, sadanartha-mana,

nana duhkhe jara jara (5)

 

Being such a miscreant and rejected by saintly persons, I have become a repeated

offender. I never do good deeds but am inclined only to bad habits. Thus, I am

oppressed by so many miseries.

 

vardhakye ekhana, upaya vihina,

taíte dina akincana

bhakativinoda, prabhura carane,

kare duhkha nivedana (6)

 

Now in old age I am rendered helpless, reduced to a fallen and destitute condition.

Bhaktivinoda presents his sad case at the feet of the Lord.