|NITAAI-Veda.nyf > Compiled and Imp Scriptures > Prema Vivarta > 14. Contradictory Transformation|
Chapter 14—Contradictory Transformation
Perceiving Vrndavana in Navadvipa
Alas! i could not visit Vrndavana. Each time I made an attempt to go the memory of my Lord's beautiful face brought me back. I began to meditate on His golden transcendental form, and immediately I lost composure. I became confused about the direction and arrived at some unknown place. First, I had set out in one direction; then retraced my steps, and after some walking I started to recognise landmarks, so I finally sat down.
I don't know what is to become of me. If I continue in this manner, I doubt if I will ever reach Vrndavana. Sometimes I spend days and nights sitting wide awake under a tree, and at other times, I fall into a deep slumber deliberating on this matter.
I sleep and dream that I have travelled to a faraway place. There on the ocean shore I see my beloved Lord Shri Gauranga's beautiful dancing figure. Gadadhara Pandita and all the devotees around Him and dance in ecstasy to sweet music and singing, which is like sprinklings of nectar to the senses.
After the dancing and singing stopped, my Lord Gauranga approached me, and taking me by the hand, said, "You left because you are angry with Me, but tell Me what is My fault if you are feeling restless. Now you have run away to Vraja, leaving Me here. Enough of this now. Come, let Me embrace you and hold My breast against yours to drive away the desolation in My heart.
"Cook rice and spinach sak for Me this afternoon and satisfy My hunger. O Jagadananda, My mind is bereft of joy since you left. In My condition I have just mechanically consumed food. You are always so cruel to Me. I am yet to fathom the cause of your sudden departure, but all I know is that you left Me morose and pining.
"Go and see Vraja-dhama, this will make you happy. But return very quickly, because I want to eat rice and sak prepared by you. Your cooking will resuscitate Me, and I know this will also please you. And then, never again leave Me in a huff."
When I awoke from my dream, I noticed that Vrndavana Vrajabhumi, was far away, but Ganga was very near. Oh, how wonderful is Navadvipa-dhama, the transcendental abode where my Lord Gauranga performed His eternal pastimes. It is the exact replica of Vraja dhama in every respect.
Bounding with gleeful exuberance, I came to Mayapura and went straight to the house of my Lord. Entering into the inner quarters, I found Mother Saci and offered my obeisances. We spoke about Lord Gauranga, the subject which is closest to our hearts, and then I went out to savour the opulence of Navadvipa.
I thought I was in Vrndavana as I went around looking at the different places in Navadvipa. Thus, it finally occurred to me that there was no need to go so far away to see Vrndavana. If I can see my beloved Lord, then I forget all of my miseries and thus escape the excruciating pain of separation from Him and His abode.