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Nityananda Charitamrita, Antya Khanda Chapter 11
Lord Gauranga instructs Nityananda Prabhu to marry
One day in Nilachala Puri Dhama, Gaurachandra Mahaprabhu discussed something alone with Nityananda.
tumi yao gaudadese karaha samsara
tabe e saba lokera haibe nistara
punaha asiba ami tomara mandire
tomara grihe habe amara avatare
bhakti bilaiya punah asiba samsara
gupu avatara sastre naheta pracara
acintya amara shakti keha nahi jane
sei se janaye tumi janaha sei khane
"Dear Shripada, return to Bengal
and get married, then all the people will be delivered. I'll again manifest in
Your family and stay in Your home. I'll distribute krishna-bhakti and deliver
the whole world. These incarnations of Mine are secret and hidden in the
scriptures. No one knows My inconceivable energies. Only You know them
perfectly and others know only by Your mercy."
Nityananda replied, "You're the cause of everything. You're the operator and I'm the machine. You can do with Me as You like. No one can direct his intelligence independently. You're My personal protector, benefactor, and maintainer. All I do is dependent on You. You made Me a mendicant and made Me travel all over the country. Yet You put a curtain on My eyes and remained hidden from me. After a time, You gave Me darsana and satisfied Me by keeping Me with You. You made Me dance happily in Your ecstatic love. You awarded Me bhakti and made Me a Vaishnava devotee. Again, You made Me a materialist by changing My duties. I'm unable to understand what's happening to Me. Now You are again telling Me to enter family life. But You Yourself abandoned such a life.
"You gave up attachment for women and became attached to the chanting of Lord Krishna's holy name. You've given up all kinds of enjoyment and taken up the profession of a beggar. O Gosai, why do You trouble Me like this? Actually, I have no one other than You. I'm Your eternal servant. I'm unable to deny Your order. I always follow Your order as My life and soul." Then Nityananda fell silent. The Lord caught hold of His hands and began to speak.
"O Nityananda, You're the form of eternal bliss and the abode of My happiness and prosperity. You're My energy and I'm the energetic. Without energy, the existence of the energetic is useless. You and I are not separate at any time. To fulfill our mission, We've descended in this age of Kali. Just as a grain of dal has two parts, so You and I are not separate. We're one. My happiness lies in You only. Sometimes, I experience this happiness directly by Your presence, and sometimes through inspiration. Whatever I speak and do and wherever I travel is all due to Your desire. All My servants are certainly Your servants."
Nityananda replied, "Your words are all deceitful since You always speak in many different ways. Before, You sent a message to the gopis through Uddhava where You taught them the importance of spiritual knowledge. They gave up everything, still they could not attain Your association. It's Your eternal habit to harass Your own people. You even disappointed Your mother, father, sons, and friends; then what can be said about us? We're only Your menial servants. I'm destined to follow Your orders without fail. Who can deny Your infallible orders?
"O Lord, please tell Me in truth when will I see You again? How will I tolerate the agony of Your separation?"
The Lord said, "You don't need to come here every year. Whenever You wish to see Me, You'll see Me. Whenever You dance in kirtana or My mother cooks for Me, I'll be there without a doubt. I'm going to spend days and nights absorbed in the mood of Radharani. After relishing the mood of separation from Krishna, I'm going to shortly wind up these pastimes and return home."
The Lord's intimate devotees have realized and disclosed the secret talks between Shri Gauranga and Nityananda Prabhu. "The present incarnation of Mine is not known to the Vedas. I'm revealing My mind only to You. I am telling You the truth that I will certainly appear in Your house in the near future*."
Hearing these words of Lord Gauranga, Nityananda Prabhu fell to the ground. Taking advantage of this, Gauranga Mahaprabhu took the dust from His feet. Both the Lords embraced and cried continuously. They stayed awake that night. Early the next morning, both the Lords finished Their morning duties and went to see the sweet form of Lord Jagannatha.
From that day onwards the condition of Lord Gauranga became pathetic. He constantly lamented afflicted with separation from Krishna. Nobody understood this most confidential mood of the Lord. Only the Lord realized His own mentality. Some intimate devotees, however, understood the Lord's mood by some hints. Others knew nothing. On the plea of pilgrimage, all the devotees took their leave of the Lord one by one. Nityananda Prabhu took His leave of the Lord and started for Bengal with some devotees. He traveled along the road absorbed in ecstatic krishna-prema. He appeared drunk from drinking honey. He soon arrived on the bank of the Ganges and entered Raghava Pandita's house in the village of Panihati.
Hearing about Nityananda Prabhu's arrival, everyone, including children and old men, happily rushed to see Him. People from Panihati to Triveni poured out non-stop to join the kirtana. Many people ate prasada there and many people carried it to their houses. Nobody could estimate how many people brought ingredients and how many people distributed prasada. During the day, they distributed prasada and at night, they arranged huge nama-sankirtana parties. Even Lord Ananta was unable to count the visitors. Many devotee singers sang and danced while others fanned them with peacock feather fans.
Nityananda Prabhu decorated His head with a turban of colorful cloths. He wore beautiful earrings and His brightly shining face defeated the beauty of the moon. He had bracelets on His hands and rings on His fingers. He wore a golden chain with a blue sapphire locket. His lotus feet were decorated with golden ankle bells whose tinkling banished one's miseries. Tears of love constantly flowed from His lotus eyes. Honeybees poured their honey on His lotus feet. His head resembled a lion's, His shoulders those of an elephant. He had a huge body with His two arms stretching down to His knees. His large hands resembled a wrestler's. His golden limbs were over flooded with prema. He was attached to chanting the holy names and to Shri Gaurangacandra. He swung left to right while chanting, "Krishna! Krishna!" like an elephant in rut when hit by a goad.
Sometimes He laughed, rolling his eyes and speaking very sweetly. Other times, He closed His eyes and remained silent. He cried loudly saying, "O My dear Krishna!" Sometimes folding His hands He chanted, "O My Lord!" and sometimes He covered His face with His cloth. He cried softly uttering "O Lord of My life!" and fell forcefully on the ground. He laughed loudly calling, "O My dear brother! O My dear brother!" Sometimes He asked Lord Brahma for wings to fly in the sky. Nityananda Prabhu's manifestation of prema was mysterious to the common people.
Accepting Shri Gauranga and Nityananda as my life and soul, I, Vrindavana dasa, sing the glories of Their lotus feet.