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Description of the Awakening of Feelings of Separation
Text 1 Glory, glory to Lord Chaitanya, the maintainer of the worlds and the son of Saci! Glory, glory to the golden lion of Lord Chaitanya, the purifier of the fallen!
Text 2 Thinking they would be separated from the Lord, all the devotees wept.
Text 3 They said, "Where will the Lord go when He accepts sannyasa? Where will we go to see Him?
Text 4 "When He accepts sanyasa, He will not stay in this village. In what direction will He go?"
Text 5 In this way the devotees were rapt in ecstati love. By eating no one felt his body become pleased.
Text 6 That His servants were suffering was not something Lord Chaitanya could tolerate. Becoming cheerful, the Lord instructed everyone.
Text 7 Lord Chaitanya said, "Why do you worry. I will stay with you at every moment.
Text 8 "You all think I will take sannyasa, leave you all, and go far away.
Text 9 "Please don't think that. I will not leave you for even a moment.
"All of you always enjoy pastimes with Me. Not only in this birth, but in birth after birth.
"In this birth you will always enjoy blissful sankirtana pastimes with Me.
"Birth after birth, whenevr I descend to this world, you will always stay with Me.
"I have descended to this world in two forms. My two forms are:Text 1 sankirtana, andText 2 the bliss of Deity worship.
"Please find happiness with these two forms. In My company you will continue to perform sankirtana with great joy.
"To teach the world I will accept sannyasa. Please end all your worries."
Sfter speaking these words the Lord affectionately embraced everyone again and again.
The devotees were all somewhat pacified by the Lord's words. After enlightening everyone, Lord Chaitanya returned to His home.
Hearing all this news from the others, Mother Saci almost could not remain alive in that body.
Hearing that Lord Chaitanya would accept sannyasa, Saci, the mother of the worlds, felt a pain she had never know before.
In a moment she fell unconscious to the ground. From her a stream of tears endlessly flowed. She had no power to stop it.
Approaching her, lotus-eyed Lord Chaitanya sat down. Weeping, Saci said,
A Song in Bhatiyari-raga
(Refrain, gauranga he
na ja-iya na ja-iya bapa mayere chadiya
papa ji-u ache tora shri-mukha cahiya
"Don't go. Dear son, don't leave me and go away. Only by gazing at Your beautiful face can we stay alive.
kamala-nayana tora shri-candra-badan
adhara suranga kunda-mukuta-dasan
"Your eyes are lotus flowers. Your face is the moon. Your red lips are beautiful. Your teeth are pearls and jasmine flowers.
amiya barikhe jena sundara bacan
na dekhi banciba ki se gajendra-gaman
"Your beautiful words are like nectar showering down on me. If I cannot see Your walking and gestures, graceful like the movements of a graceful elephant, how can I remain alive?
adwaita-shribasa-adi tora anucar
nityananda ache tora pranera dosar
"Beginning with Advaita and Shrivasa, You have a host of followers. Nityananda is Your own life manifested in another form.
grihe rahi' sankirtana koro' tumi range
"Beginning with Gadadhara, You have a host of dear friends. Please stay at home and happily perform sankirtana here.
dharma bujha-ite bapa tora abatar
janani chadiba e kon dharmera bicar
"Dear son, it is to teach the true religion that You descended to this world. If You abandon Your mother, how will You teach religion?
tumi dharma-maya jadi janani chadiba
kemate jagate tumi dharma bujha-iba
"You are religion personified. If You abandon Your mother, how will You teach religion to the world?"
Overcome with love and grief, Saci spoke these words, and Lord Chaitanya listened. His voice choked with love, Lord Chaitanya gave no reply.
Then Saci said, "Your elder brother left me and went away. Then Your father went to Vaikuntha.
When I see You, I forget all my sufferings. If You go away, I will give up this life.
A Song in Karuna-bhatiyari-raga
pranera gauranga hera bap
anathini chadite na jujay
"Dear son more dear than life, dear Gauranga, look. It is not right for You to abandon Your widowed, helpless mother.
(Refrain, saba layna koro' nija-angane kirtan
nityananda achaye sahay
"Perform kirtana with everyone in Your own courtyard. Nityananda will help You.
prema-maya du-i ankhi dirgha du-i bhuja dekhi'
bacanete amiya borishe
bina-dipe ghara mor Tora angete ujor
ranga pa'ye kata madhu borishe
"I gaze at Your love-filled eyes and Your long arms. Your words shower nectar upon me. Even when there are no lamps, Your limbs fill my house with light. How much nectar rains freom Your reddish feet?"
prema-soke kohe saci biswambhara sune basi'
(jena, raghunathe kausalya bujhay
shri-chaitanya nityananda sukha-data sadananda
brindabana-dasa rasa gay
With love and grief Saci spoke these words. Lord Chaitanya sat and listened. Saci was like Kausalya speaking to Lord Rama. Lord Chaitanya and Lord Nityananda are full of bliss and They give bliss to others. I, Vrindavana dasa, sing the nectar of Their glories.
In this way Mother Saci lamented. Lord Chaitanya lifted His face, but He did not say anything.
Saci had turned white. She was skin and bones. Overcome with grief, she did not eat.
Seeing that His mother would not remain alive, Lord Chaitanya sat down in a secluded place and spoke to her certain secrets.
Lord Chaitanya said, "Mother, please be peaceful at heart. Please listen. For many births I have been your son.
"Please carefully listen to your own glories. There was a time when you had the name Prisni.
"There was a time when you were Aditi in Svargaloka. Then also I was your son.
"At that time I descended to this world and was known as Vamana. Then you were also My mother.
"Then again you became Devahuti, and I became your son, Kapila.
"Another time you became Kausalya, and I became your son Ramacandra.
"Another time you became Devaki in Mathura and you were imprisoned by the demon Kamsa.
"Then also you were My mother. You were Devaki, and I was your son.
"I have taken birth twice to begin the sankirtana movement. Both times I am your son.
"You are the earth goddess, and therefore you are the mother of My Deity-form. You are also the tongues of everyone, and therefore you are the mother of My form as the holy name.
"In this way you are My mother birth after birth. In My heart I will never leave you.
"I am not lying. I speak the truth. Please do not feel unhappy at heart."
Hearing the Lord speak these secret truths, Saci became a little peaceful at heart.
The two moons Shri Krishna Chaitanya and Shri Nityananda are my life and soul. I, Vrindavana dasa, sing the glories of Their feet.