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NITAAI-Veda.nyf > All Scriptures By Acharyas > Bhaktivinoda Thakura > Sharanagati > Siddhi-Lalasa

Siddhi-lalasa, hankering for spiritual perfection, 3 songs

(1) kabe gaura-bane, suradhuni-tate

‘ha radhe ha krishna’ bole’

kandiya bera’bo, deho-sukhachari’,

nana lata-taru tale

sva-paca-grhete, magiya khaibo,

pibo saraswati-jala

puline puline, gara-gari dibo,

kori’ krishna-kolahala

dhama-basi jane, pranati koriya,

magibo krpara lesa

baisnaba-carana-renu gaya makhi’

dhori abadhuta-besa

gauda-braja-jane, bheda na dekhibo,

hoibo baraja-basi

dhamera swarupa, sphuribe nayane,

hoibo radhara dasi

Translation

 

When will I wander weeping under the shade of various trees and creepers on th banks of Ganges in the land of Navadvipa, crying, “O Radha! O Krishna!” and forgetting all physical comforts?

I will even take my meals by begging at the homes of the candalas and will drink the water of the Sarasvati. In ecstasy I will roll on the ground along the banks of the river, raising an uproar of “Krishna! Krishna!”

Bowing down to the inhabitants of the holy land of Navadvipa, I will beg a bit of their mercy. I will wear the dress of a mendicant and smear the dust of the Vaishnavas’s feet on my body.

I will see no difference between the inhabitants of Vraja Bhumi and those of Navadvipa, and I will be transformed into a resident of Vraja. The true nature of the Lord’s abode will manifest itself to my eyes, and I will become a maidservant of Shrimati Radharani.

(2) 1.dekhite dekhite, bhulibo ba kabe,

   nija-sthula-paricoya

   nayane heribo, braja-pura-sobha,

   nitya cid-ananda-moya

2.brsabhanu-pure, janama loibo,

   jabate bibaha ha’be

   braja-gopi-bhava, hoibe swabhava,

   ano-bhava na rohibe

3.nija-siddha-deho, nija-siddha-nama

   nija-rupa-sva-basana

   radha-krpa-bale, lobhibo ba kabe

   krishna-prema-prakarana

4.jamuna-salila aharane giya,

   bujhibo jugala-rasa

   prema-mugdha ho’ye, pagalini-praya

   gaibo radhara jasa

Translation

 

When, in a flash, will I forget my false bodily indentity and be able to behold the exquisite beauty of the realm of Vraja, full of eternal spiritual bliss?

I shall take my birth in the town of King Vrsabhanu and be married in Yavatagram. My sole disposition and character shall be that of a cowherd girl, and I shall know no other.

When, by the power of Radha’s mercy, will I obtain my own eternal spiritual body, name, form and dress and when, by Her mercy, will I obtain initiation into divine love of Krishna?

As I go to draw water from the Yamuna, I shall cherish knowing the love that unites Radha with Krishna. I shall sing Shri Radha’s glories like a madwoman, enchanted by divine love.

(3) 1.brsabhanu-suta-carana-sebane

   hoibo je palya-dasi

   shri-radhara sukha, satata sadhane,

   rohibo ami prayasi

2.shri-radhara sukhe, krsnera je sukha

   janibo manete ami

   radha-pada chari’, shri-krishna-sangame,

   kabhu na hoibo kani

3.sakhi-gana mama, parama-suhrit,

   jugala-premera guru

   tad-anuga ho’ye, sevibo radhara,

   carana-kalapa-taru

4.radha-pakha chari, je-jana se-jana,

   je bhave se bhave thake

   ami to’radhika- pakha-pati sadha,

   kabhu nahi heri ta’ke

Translation

 

For serving the lotus feet of Shri Radha, the daughter of Vrsabhanu, I will become a maidservant of one of the gopis in Vraja. I will always strive to bring about the happiness of Shri Radha.

Within my heart I will know that Radha’s pleasure is Krishna’s source of Joy. Therefore I will never desire to abandon Her lotus feet for His solitary company.

The sakhis are my best friends and teachers concerning the love uniting Radha with Krishna. As one of their attendants, I will serve Radha’s lotus feet, which are like wish-fulfilling desire trees.

I myself am always partial to Radhika and therefore never look at those who have abandoned Radha’s entourage, whoever they may be and whatever their ways.