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Dainya, humility, 7 songs
1. bhuliya tomare, somsare asiya
peye nama-bidha byatha
tomara carana asiyachi ami,
bolobo duhkhera katha
2. janani-jathare, chilama jakhona,
ek-bara prabhu! dekha diya more,
boncile e dina dase
3. takhona bhavinu, janama paiya,
koribo bhajana taba
janama hoilo, pori maya-jale
na hoilo jnana-laba
4. adarera chele, swajanera kole,
hasiya katanu kala
janaka-janani- snehete bhuliya,
somsara lagilo bhalo
5. krame dina dina, balaka hoiya,
ara kichu dine, jnana upajilo,
patha pori ahar-ahah
6. bidyara gaurave, bhromi dese dese,
dhana uparjana kori
swajana palana, kori eka-mane,
bhulinu tomare, hari!
7.bardhakye ekhona, bhakativinoda
kandiya katara ati
na bhojiya tore, dina britha gelo,
ekhona ki habe gati!
I forsook You, O Lord, and came to this world of pain and sorrow. Now I submit my tale of woe at Your lotus feet.
While still in the unbearable fetters of my mother’s womb, I saw You before me You revealed Yourself but briefly and then abandoned this poor servant of Yours.
At that moment I swore to worship You after taking birth; but birth came, and with it the network of wordly illusion which robbed me of all good sense.
As a fondled son in the lap of relatives, I passed my time smiling and laughing. My parents’ affection helped me to forget the pangs of birth, and I thought the world was very nice.
Day by day I grew and soon began playing with other boys. Shortly my powers of understanding emerged. I read and studied my lessons incessantly.
Travelling from place to place, proud of my education, I grew wealthy and maintained my family with undivided attention. O Lord Hari, I forgot You!
Now in old age, Bhaktivinoda is sad. He weeps. I failed to worship You, O Lord, and instead passed my life in vain. What will be my fate now.
(2)1.bidyara bilase katainu kala,
parama sahase ami
tomara carana, na bhojinu kobhu,
ekhona sarana tumi
2. porite porite, bharasa barilo
jnane gati habe mani
se asa bifala, se jnana durbala
se jnana ajnana jani
3. jada-bidya jato, mayara vaibhava,
tomara bhajane badha
moha janamiya, anitya somsare,
jibake karaye gadha
4. sei gadha ho’ye, somsarera ‘bojha,
bhavinu aneka kala
bardhakye ekhona, sakti na abhave,
kichu nahi lage bhalo
5. jibana jatana, hoilo ekhona,
se bidya abidya bhelo
abidyara jwala, ghatilo bisama,
se bidya hoilo selo
6. tomara carana, bina kichu dhana,
somsare na ache ara
bhakativinoda, jada-bidya chari
tuwa pada kare sara
Confidently, I spent my time in the pleasures of mundane learning and never worshiped Your Lotus feet, O Lord. Now You are my only shelter.
Reading on and on, my hopes grew, for I considered material knowledge to be life’s true path. How fruitless was that hope, and how feeble that knowledge proved to be. I know now that all such knowledge is ignorance.
Knowledge of this world is knowledge born of Your illusory energy (maya). It impedes devotional service and makes an ass of the eternal soul by encouraging his infatuation with this temporary world.
Here is one such ass who for so long has carried on his back the burden of material existence. Now in my old age, for want of the power to enjoy, nothing pleases me.
Life has become agony now, my knowledge has proven itself worthless, and ignorance has penetrated my heart with the intolerable, burning pain of a pointed shaft.
O Lord, I seek no other treasure in this world than Your lotus feet. Bhaktivinoda abandons everything to make them the sum and substance of his life.
(3)1. jaubane jakhona, dhana-uparjane,
hoinu bipula kami
dharama smariya, grihinira kara,
dhorinu takhona ami
2. somsara pata’ye tahara sahita,
kala-khoy koinu kato
bahu sutaasuta, janama lobhilo,
marame hoinu hato
3. samsarera bhara, bare dine dine,
acala hoilo gati
bardhakya asiya, gherilo amare,
asthira hoilo mati
4. piraya asthira, cintaya jwarita
abhave jwalita citta
upaya na dekhi, andhakara-moya,
ekhona ho’yeche bhita
5. somsara-tatani srota nahe sesa
marana nikate ghora
saba samapiya, bhojibo tomaya
e asa bifala mora
6. ebe suno prabhu! ami gati-hina
taba krpa bina, sakali nirasa,
deho more padasroya
When I was young, I greatly desired to earn money. At that time bearing in mind the codes of religion, I took a wife.
Together we set up a household, wasted much time, had many sons and daughters... my heart grew heavy.
The burden increased day by day, I felt my life at a standstill. Old age came, grabbed me, and made my mind fickle and disturbed.
Diseases trouble me now, and constant anxiety has made me feverish. My heart burns from lack of satisfaction, and I see no way out. All is darkness and I am very much afraid.
The current of this worldly river is strong and relentless. A frightening, gloomy death approaches. How I wish I could give up my worldly attachements. I would worship You, O Lord, but it is a useless hope.
Now please hear me, O Lord, for I am utterly helpless. Bhaktivinoda says, “Without Your mercy, everything is lost. Please give me the shelter of Your lotus feet.”
(4)1. amara jibana, sada pape rata
nahiko punyera lesa
parere udvega, diyachi je kato
diyachi jibere klesa
2 nija sukha lagi, pape nahi dori,
para-sukhe duhkhi, sada mithya-bhase,
3 asesa kamana, hrdi mahje mora,
mada-matta sada, bisaye mohita,
4 nidralasya hata, sukarje birata,
akarje udyogi ami
pratistha lagiya, sathya acarana,
lobha-hata sada kami
5 e heno durjana, saj-jana-barjita,
nana duhkhe jara jara
6 bardhakye ekhona, upaya-bihina,
ta te dina akincana
bhakativinoda, prabhura carane
kare duhkha nibedana
I am an impious sinner and have caused others great anxiety and trouble.
I have never hesitated to perform sinful act for my own enjoiment. Devoid of all compassion, concerned only with my own selfish interests, I am remorseful seeing others happy. I am a perpetual liar, and the misery of others is a source of great pleasure for me.
The material desires within the core of my heart are unlimited. I am wrathful, devoted to false pride and arrogance, intoxicated by vanity, and bewildered by worldly affairs. Envy and egotism are the ornaments I wear.
Ruined by laziness and sleep, I resist all pious deeds; yet I am very active and enthusiastic to perform wicked acts. For worldly fame and reputation I engage in the practice of deceitfulness. Thus I am destroyed by my own greed and am always lustful.
A vile, wicked man such as this, rejected by godly people, is a constant offender. I am such a person, devoid of all good works, forever inclined toward evil, worn out and wasted by various miseries.
Now in old age, deprived of all means of succes, humbled and poor, Bhaktivinoda submits his tale of grief at the feet of the Supreme Lord.
(5)1.(prabhu he!) suno mor duhkher kahini
bisaya-halahala sudha-bhane piyalun
ab abasana dinamani
2.khela-rase saisaba, porhaite kaisora,
gowaolun, na bhelo vibeka
bhoga-base jaubane, ghara pati boshilun
suta-mita barhalo aneka
3.brddha-kala aolo, saba sukha bhagalo,
pida-base katainu katar
sarbendriya durbala, khina kalebara,
bhogabhave duhkhita antar
4.jnana-laba-hina bhakti-rase banchita,
ara mora ki habe upaya
patita-bandhu, tuhun, patitadhama hama,
kripaya uthao tapa paya
5.bicarite abahi, guna nahi paobi,
krpa karo, chorato bicara
taba pada-pankaja- sidhu pibaoto
bhakativinoda karo para
Hear, O Lord, my story of sadness. I drank the deadly poison of worldliness, pretending it was nectar, and now the sun is setting on the horizon of my life.
I spent my childhood in play, my youth in academic pursuit, and in me there was no sense of right or wrong. In young manhood I set up a household and settled down to the spell of material enjoyment. Children and friends quickly multiplied.
Soon old age arrived, and all happiness departed. Subjected to disease, troubled and weak, all my senses are feeble now, my body racked and exhausted, and my spirits downcast in the absence of youthful pleasures.
Devoid of even a particle of devotion, lacking any enlightenment — what help is there for me now? Only You, O Lord, friend of the fallen. I am certainly fallen, the lowest of men. Please, therefore lift me to Your lotus feet.
Were You to judge me now, You would find no good qualities. Have mercy and judge me not. Cause me to drink the honey of Your lotus feet and thereby deliver this Bhaktivinoda.
(6)1.(prabhu he!) tua pade e minati mor
tava pada-pallaba, tyajato maru-mana,
bisama bisaye bhelo bhor
2.uthayite takata, punah nahi milo-i,
anudina korohin hutas
dina-jana-natha, tuhun kahayasi,
tomara carana mama asa
3.aichana dina-jana, kohi nahi milo-i,
tuhun more koro parasada
tuwa jana-sange, tuwa katha-range,
charahun sakala paramada
4.tuwa dhama-mahe, tuwa nama gaoto,
gowayabun dina-nisi asa
tua pada-chaya, parama susitala,
mage bhakativinoda dasa
At Your feet, soft as new-grown leaves, I offer this humble prayer. Those feet shelter the fallen souls who burn from the heat of material existence. But I gave up their shelter, and now my mind scorched by the fire of worldliness, has dried up like a desert.
I find no strength to go on, and thus I spend my days lamenting. My only desire now is for Your lotus feet, O Lord of the meek and humble.
Has there ever been a soul as forlorn as me? Please be merciful and award me the association of Your devotees, for by tasting the pleasure of hearing your pastimes I shall give up all evils.
One hope animates my soul: to spend day and night in Your divine abode singing Your holy name. Your tiny servant Bhaktivinoda begs a place in the delightfully cooling shade of Your feet.
(7)1.(prabhu he!) emona durmati, samsara bhitore,
poriya achinu ami
tab nija-jana, kono mahajana
pataile dile tumi
2.doya kori’ more, patita dekhiya,
kohilo amare giya
ohe dina-jana suno bhalo katha
ullasita he’be hiya
3.tomare tarite, shri-krishna-chaitanya,
toma heno kato, dina hina jane,
4.bedera pratijna, rakhibara tare,
mahaprabhu name, nadiya mataya,
sange bhai abadhuta
5.nanda-suta jini, chaitanya gosai,
nija nama kori’dana
tarilo jagat, tumi-o jaiya,
6.se katha suniya, asiyachi, natha!
bhakativinoda, kandiya kandiya,
A wicked mind brought me into this world, O Lord, but one of Your pure and elevated devotees has come to bring me out.
He saw me so fallen and wretched, took pity, and came to me saying, “O humbled soul, please listem to this good tiding, for it will gladden your heart.
Shri Krishna Chaitanya has appeared in the land of Navadvipa to deliver you. He has safely conducted many miserable souls such as you across the sea of worldly existence.
“To fulfill the promise of the Vedas, the son of a brahmana bearing the name Mahaprabhu of golden complexion, has descended with His brother the avadhuta Nityananda. Together They have overwelmed all of Nadia with divine ecstasy.
“Shri Chaitanya, who is Krishna Himself, the son of Nanda, has saved the world by freely distributing His own holy name. Go also and receive your deliverance.”
O Lord, hearing those words, Bhaktivinoda has come weeping to the soles of Your lotus feet and tells the story of his life.