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NITAAI-Veda.nyf > All Scriptures By Acharyas > Bhaktivinoda Thakura > Bhaktivinoda Vani Vaibhava > Bhaktivinoda Vani Vaibhava Part 2 and 3 > Vol 2 Abhidheya > Association with Women

70--Association with Women


1. What is "association with the opposite sex"?


A man's attachment for a woman and a woman's attachment for a man is called "association with the opposite sex." By chanting Krsna's holy names while renouncing such attachment, a householder can achieve the ultimate goal of life. (Jaiva Dharma, Chapter 25)


2. Is association with women detrimental to devotional service?


When there is no marital relationship and one converses with a woman with evil intentions, it is called stri-sariga. Such sahga is sinful and is detrimental to devotional service.

{Sajjana Tosanl 10/11)


3. What should a person who desires to attain pure devotional service renounce?


Those who desire to attain pure devotional service should totally renounce the association of nondevotees and women. {Sajjana Tosanl 11/11)


4. What is the purpose of marriage? What kind of people are engaged in animalistic activities? What is the mentality of a person attached to spiritual life?


Those who possess a material body made of flesh and blood are always inclined to associate with women. To minimize this inclination, marriage is recommended. Those who wish to become free of the codes of marriage are almost like animals. But for those who have crossed beyond the rules of this natural inclination by the association of devotees and the strength of their service and have thus attained attraction for spiritual subject matter, associating with the opposite sex has no detrimental effect. (Sajjana Tosani 11/5)


5. Who are the actual stri-sangis ?


Those who are attached to associating with women are called stri-sangis. The materialists who are fond of gold and women, the sahajiyds, Bauls, Sains, and other so-called religiously minded persons who are greedy for women, as well as the woman-loving tantrics, are all examples of stri-sangls. The main point is that any men who are attached to womanly association are stri-sangis. By all means the Vaisnavas should give up the company of such stri-sangis. This is Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu's order. (Sajjana Tosanl 11/6)


6. Is a Vaisnava householder licentious?


A Vaisnava, whether a householder or renunciant, desires only transcendental happiness. A householder Vaisnava always works with his wife to achieve transcendental happiness. Although engaged in all kinds of work, he never becomes licentious. In this way, he remains free from women's association throughout his life. He totally renounces illicit, intimate speaking with women and the mundane licentious mood in licit association with his wife. {Sajjana Tosani 11/11)


7. Is it good to become licentious?


One should never become licentious, for it ruins everything. (Caitanya-siksamrta 2/5)


8. Is associating with his wife one of the limbs of devotional service for a householder?


It is not a limb of devotional service for a householder to associate with his wife, but it has been accepted as sinless as long as one uses such association to maintain family life.

(Sajjana Tosani 4/6)


9. How can women devotees give up bad association?


It is essential for women devotees to give up the association of their nondevotee husbands. It is difficult to consider the nondevotee a husband because such an illusory enjoyer acts like a bull and proudly considers himself as the master. (Sri Bhagavatarka Marichi-mala 14/36)


10. What harm is there if a tinge of material conception enters into our worship of Lord Hari?


According to pure Vaisnava philosophy, the male practitioner of devotional service should worship Hari separate from female practitioners of devotional service. Similarly, the female practitioner should not allow male practitioners near them. Worship of Hari is a fully spiritual activity. A little material conception can spoil everything. (Sajjana Tosani 4/6)


11. Whose association is most detrimental to devotional service?


Association with those fond of women is most detrimental to devotional service. (Harinama-cintamani) 


12. What is the atonement for a renunciant who purposely sees a woman?


If a Vaisnava in the renounced order of life deliberately sees a woman, he should atone by drowning himself in the Ganges at Triveni in order to become purified in his future lives.

{Caitanya-caritdmrta Antya 2.165)